Have you noticed in the work you do and the conversations you have, that it’s all the same? Potential customer conversations, existing customer conversations, colleagues, friends and family conversations and outcomes… it’s all the same and you’re feeling over it? Have you ever asked yourself, what’s the point or why am I doing this? When you ask these types of questions alarm bells should be going off in your head as you are having what I call a ‘mediocre moment’. Yes, they’re normal, it’s just that most people sit and live in a mediocre moment for the following day, week, month, year, decade or even longer. Here are three outrageous strategies on how to get out of the mediocre and into the magnificent.
1.Spend Time with Big Thinkers
The best advice I ever had was from one of my mentors who said: “Be careful who you let near your mind Jen, and that includes me!” How many times have you surrounded yourself with people who think small, negatively or see the worst in everything? These people creep into your world and start gossiping and talking about how bad things are. If you are not diligently protecting your mind-space, you start speaking, thinking and behaving like them. Stop right now and take stock! Who is in your mental space that inspires you, causes you to think creatively and be in action? If you have someone, that’s great, if you don’t, list five people who you know or would like to know and make an appointment right now to meet them and spend time with them. Remember, YOU are in control of who you spend time with. You do NOT have to spend time with people who do not inspire you. If you must be with a draining person plan to limit the time with them. The best way to do this is to say at the start of the meeting or discussion: ’Look I’ve only got 20 minutes to discuss this issue, is that ok with you?’. Then stick to the time and at 18 minutes, say: ‘OK, that’s it for me, I’ve got to go in 2 minutes’. How outrageous!
2.Create Blatant Promotion Around You
If you want to turn your extended world around, start to promote, endorse and acknowledge friends, clients and colleagues. Tell everyone about them, their latest achievements, how they make a difference in the world. Be a promoter and endorser of the magnificent. It’s a simple strategy and has far reaching impact as you are creating a world around you that is acknowledged and encouraged and you will also be inspired by the company you keep. Remember, just one positive comment can make the world of difference to someone’s confidence, courage and commitment. Stepping up and being the catalyst in this type of conversation is not the Aussie norm – I say… it should be. Go on, be outrageous!
3.Random Acts of Generosity
Most mediocre moments are when a person has been focusing on themselves too much for too long. If this is you, lift your head up and notice the people around you and start to be of service to others. Random Acts of Generosity such as giving a compliment, smiling at someone, listening to another, letting someone else go first, giving flowers or small gifts, just because you can, will lift you and the other person out of the slumber of mediocrity, sameness and boredom and spark a light of possibility, potential and power. In my experience, I have found that mediocre people say and do nothing and expect everything. Magnificent people say and do what needs to be said and done and expect nothing. Generosity kills mediocrity. What a simple yet outrageous thought!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Don’t Grumble, GROW
When times are tough and the market slows, successful people don’t grumble, they GROW. Several years ago I coached a stock broker for just two months. Let’s call him Dave (not his real name). At our initial meeting, it was clear that without help, Dave would miss out on his performance targets and annual bonus payment. The end of the financial year was six weeks away, the market was slow, and Dave needed the bonus badly. He wanted me to work with him to reach his goals. We agreed to work on three areas to get the result he needed.
1. Sharpen your Mind
As Dave sat in our first meeting hunched over in the chair dressed in a semi-ironed shirt, average tie, worn suit pants and scuffed shoes it was clear that his appearance did not have the sharp, crisp edge he needed to succeed. Now I’m sure you’ve heard the saying you must ‘dress for success’. Well, most people take that statement literally and think that it’s their clothes that’s sell them. That’s not entirely true. What people don’t understand is that your appearance reflects your level of thinking. Your mind is much more able to take control of the bigger tasks with all the little things taken care of. The other factor is that when you are dressed well, you feel fabulous – and that impacts your attitude. So, the first thing Dave did after our meeting was go home and change. From that day forward, Dave only wore his best suits to work and looked like the most professional broker in the city.
2. Re-evaluate and Commit
The second thing I asked Dave to do was re-evaluate his position. Dave worked out he needed $X in broker fees and $X in assets under management. He figured how many transactions and how many appointments he needed EACH DAY to get the results. Dave went white when he realised he needed ten transactions and four successful meetings per day, every day for six weeks. Let me tell you, there is nothing like reality to give you a moment of truth. You ask yourself… how badly do I really want this? Average people back away at moments like this because it all seems too hard, impossible or too much work. This is where successful people step up, face it, own it and WANT it. Dave wanted it badly enough to commit to the goal fully.
3. Create a Game
When you commit 100% to the goal and know what the target and deadlines are you can create a game with yourself. Dave became creative and started to network (yes, my favourite business tool). He focused on contacting all the people he knew, even from ten years previously. He had to fill four meetings and close ten transactions each day. He re-organised and worked a schedule. Appointments were in the afternoon with an hour in between for transaction calls. He asked one of his support staff to help him with messages. He chased his existing customers for referrals. He spent time at night re-learning all the product information about the funds he was selling. He became more confident as he trained himself, caught the occasional glimpse of himself in the mirror in his suits and closed deals. He did a short happy dance in the office every time he closed a deal and came closer to the target. He also kept going when he had an off day and didn’t meet the targets. Dave kept in mind that the game was six weeks long, not just a day.
In just five weeks, Dave met his targets and received his bonus. He also learned the biggest lesson of them all… the state of the market or economy is irrelevant to how you play and win the game!
1. Sharpen your Mind
As Dave sat in our first meeting hunched over in the chair dressed in a semi-ironed shirt, average tie, worn suit pants and scuffed shoes it was clear that his appearance did not have the sharp, crisp edge he needed to succeed. Now I’m sure you’ve heard the saying you must ‘dress for success’. Well, most people take that statement literally and think that it’s their clothes that’s sell them. That’s not entirely true. What people don’t understand is that your appearance reflects your level of thinking. Your mind is much more able to take control of the bigger tasks with all the little things taken care of. The other factor is that when you are dressed well, you feel fabulous – and that impacts your attitude. So, the first thing Dave did after our meeting was go home and change. From that day forward, Dave only wore his best suits to work and looked like the most professional broker in the city.
2. Re-evaluate and Commit
The second thing I asked Dave to do was re-evaluate his position. Dave worked out he needed $X in broker fees and $X in assets under management. He figured how many transactions and how many appointments he needed EACH DAY to get the results. Dave went white when he realised he needed ten transactions and four successful meetings per day, every day for six weeks. Let me tell you, there is nothing like reality to give you a moment of truth. You ask yourself… how badly do I really want this? Average people back away at moments like this because it all seems too hard, impossible or too much work. This is where successful people step up, face it, own it and WANT it. Dave wanted it badly enough to commit to the goal fully.
3. Create a Game
When you commit 100% to the goal and know what the target and deadlines are you can create a game with yourself. Dave became creative and started to network (yes, my favourite business tool). He focused on contacting all the people he knew, even from ten years previously. He had to fill four meetings and close ten transactions each day. He re-organised and worked a schedule. Appointments were in the afternoon with an hour in between for transaction calls. He asked one of his support staff to help him with messages. He chased his existing customers for referrals. He spent time at night re-learning all the product information about the funds he was selling. He became more confident as he trained himself, caught the occasional glimpse of himself in the mirror in his suits and closed deals. He did a short happy dance in the office every time he closed a deal and came closer to the target. He also kept going when he had an off day and didn’t meet the targets. Dave kept in mind that the game was six weeks long, not just a day.
In just five weeks, Dave met his targets and received his bonus. He also learned the biggest lesson of them all… the state of the market or economy is irrelevant to how you play and win the game!
7 Networking Tips for Shy People
Wherever you network, both formally at business events and informally at social and relaxed environments, there are always several people at the event that are very confident, loud and chatty. They seem to move effortlessly around talking and laughing with everyone like a happy butterfly and for a shy person, just even thinking about becoming the networking butterfly can make us feel tight in the chest, worried and wanting to leave before we even begin.
Networking is not a normal and easy activity for many people, it is a skill that must be learned and appreciated. In business and life generally, a majority of success comes through talking to others and involving them in your ideas, plans or projects. That is what happens when we network – we connect with others. I work with many business owners, sales professionals and executives in the area of networking and sales growth and many say they are shy. This article outlines 7 Key tips on how shy people can network and get fantastic results.
1. Be Yourself
Shy people become intimidated and nervous because they think a successful networker is the happy butterfly described above. This is not true. Let’s face it, the happy butterfly people love to talk and someone has got to listen to them! Yes, shy people have the advantage in networking as they are usually listening far more than they are talking. So at an event, as people talk and move around, you will be able to hear opportunity, understand what people need and be in a position to do something about it. Remember, being shy is an advantage!
2. Set Intentions
When you attend a networking event always have an intention. This is vitally important, as it is your own secret mission. Have you ever gone to an event and were disappointed with the whole thing, the people there and thought it was a waste of your time and effort? I can guarantee you got that experience because an intention wasn’t set. Setting intentions can be easy and fun. They can be big and small. For example an intention you could set could be… I am going to have fun tonight, I am going to meet 5 new people this afternoon, and I am going to talk to 3 people about my company today. The intention you set reminds you the whole time why you are there and compels you into action to make sure you get it.
3. Pre-Event Research
You may be shy, however, being stupid and putting your foot in it, is a choice! If you want to avoid saying embarrassing things at an event because you have been to overwhelmed by coming to the event in the first place and are nervous to speak, do a little bit of research beforehand. If it’s a business event, find out who’s hosting, why are they holding it, what type of people will be there and is there anything interesting about the event. If it’s a social setting, again, find out who is the host, what type of people will be there and what are the relationships of the people attending to the host and each other. Knowing about your event will put you more at ease, will prepare you in remembering key names and will assist you in conversations.
4. Speak Up
When you hear in conversation an opportunity or an idea that fits into your area of knowledge or business, speak up. That is your time to say something. It might be a question, statement of fact or opinion. You MUST speak. Being shy does not give you permission not to speak at all; it gives you permission not to be the happy, chatty butterfly networker. Also, when you do speak, make sure people can hear you clearly and also, make sure you say things that are easy to understand. Being cryptic, arrogant and conceited when you speak doesn’t build rapport, it separates you. When networking, you want to make connection with others, make that job easy for you and for them.
5. Focus Questions
To start conversation, always have several Focus Questions that you know off by heart that will open up conversation and more importantly direct the conversation towards your area of expertise and intention for the event. For example, say you had the intention of meeting 3 people at an event that you could do business with. Your memorised Focus Question could be… ‘So, what’s the biggest challenge you are currently dealing with in your company?’ or ‘How do you work with the market being in such a state of change?’ Now not everyone is going to provide relevant answers to your line of work or interest. They may not be a potential lead, however, they are going to find out about you and what your expertise is (which is excellent) and you are going to find out some very interesting answers and information about the people you meet.
6. Direct Conversation
Many times we get caught up in someone else’s story about an adventure, holiday or mishap. While many stories are interesting, there will be times when you are bored, annoyed or frustrated that this one person is talking so much. Learning how to direct conversation is a handy skill as you can gently move the focus off the other person and create group discussion or an opportunity for you to speak. To direct the conversation, ask a Focus Question when there is a natural pause in the discussion or you can interrupt the conversation when there is a pause by saying quietly to the person or group… ‘I have a question I’d like to ask, do you mind if we take the conversation in a different direction?’ This works, as most people will be interested in someone choosing a topic to talk about that’s not industry gossip, the same old conversation etc.
7. Use Business Cards
Business cards are the essential tool for successful networking. Many shy people don’t like giving their cards to others because it’s a ‘pushy’ thing to do. One way to get around this is to ask the other person for their card first. Simply saying… ‘Do you have a card?’ will work and if they are interested in you they will ask you for yours. The other essential element to business cards to take your business cards with you everywhere you go. Keep some in your car, bag/briefcase, jacket pockets, and luggage. You only need a few handy, just in case. You never know who you might connect with waiting in a que, at the shop, movies, business events, café, golf course, school or a the family get together. Be prepared. Ask your Focus Questions wherever you can to create conversation and have your business card handy. Remember, a business card is a memory jogger for the person you’re giving it to. You want to help people remember you and get in contact with you.
Happy Networking!
Networking is not a normal and easy activity for many people, it is a skill that must be learned and appreciated. In business and life generally, a majority of success comes through talking to others and involving them in your ideas, plans or projects. That is what happens when we network – we connect with others. I work with many business owners, sales professionals and executives in the area of networking and sales growth and many say they are shy. This article outlines 7 Key tips on how shy people can network and get fantastic results.
1. Be Yourself
Shy people become intimidated and nervous because they think a successful networker is the happy butterfly described above. This is not true. Let’s face it, the happy butterfly people love to talk and someone has got to listen to them! Yes, shy people have the advantage in networking as they are usually listening far more than they are talking. So at an event, as people talk and move around, you will be able to hear opportunity, understand what people need and be in a position to do something about it. Remember, being shy is an advantage!
2. Set Intentions
When you attend a networking event always have an intention. This is vitally important, as it is your own secret mission. Have you ever gone to an event and were disappointed with the whole thing, the people there and thought it was a waste of your time and effort? I can guarantee you got that experience because an intention wasn’t set. Setting intentions can be easy and fun. They can be big and small. For example an intention you could set could be… I am going to have fun tonight, I am going to meet 5 new people this afternoon, and I am going to talk to 3 people about my company today. The intention you set reminds you the whole time why you are there and compels you into action to make sure you get it.
3. Pre-Event Research
You may be shy, however, being stupid and putting your foot in it, is a choice! If you want to avoid saying embarrassing things at an event because you have been to overwhelmed by coming to the event in the first place and are nervous to speak, do a little bit of research beforehand. If it’s a business event, find out who’s hosting, why are they holding it, what type of people will be there and is there anything interesting about the event. If it’s a social setting, again, find out who is the host, what type of people will be there and what are the relationships of the people attending to the host and each other. Knowing about your event will put you more at ease, will prepare you in remembering key names and will assist you in conversations.
4. Speak Up
When you hear in conversation an opportunity or an idea that fits into your area of knowledge or business, speak up. That is your time to say something. It might be a question, statement of fact or opinion. You MUST speak. Being shy does not give you permission not to speak at all; it gives you permission not to be the happy, chatty butterfly networker. Also, when you do speak, make sure people can hear you clearly and also, make sure you say things that are easy to understand. Being cryptic, arrogant and conceited when you speak doesn’t build rapport, it separates you. When networking, you want to make connection with others, make that job easy for you and for them.
5. Focus Questions
To start conversation, always have several Focus Questions that you know off by heart that will open up conversation and more importantly direct the conversation towards your area of expertise and intention for the event. For example, say you had the intention of meeting 3 people at an event that you could do business with. Your memorised Focus Question could be… ‘So, what’s the biggest challenge you are currently dealing with in your company?’ or ‘How do you work with the market being in such a state of change?’ Now not everyone is going to provide relevant answers to your line of work or interest. They may not be a potential lead, however, they are going to find out about you and what your expertise is (which is excellent) and you are going to find out some very interesting answers and information about the people you meet.
6. Direct Conversation
Many times we get caught up in someone else’s story about an adventure, holiday or mishap. While many stories are interesting, there will be times when you are bored, annoyed or frustrated that this one person is talking so much. Learning how to direct conversation is a handy skill as you can gently move the focus off the other person and create group discussion or an opportunity for you to speak. To direct the conversation, ask a Focus Question when there is a natural pause in the discussion or you can interrupt the conversation when there is a pause by saying quietly to the person or group… ‘I have a question I’d like to ask, do you mind if we take the conversation in a different direction?’ This works, as most people will be interested in someone choosing a topic to talk about that’s not industry gossip, the same old conversation etc.
7. Use Business Cards
Business cards are the essential tool for successful networking. Many shy people don’t like giving their cards to others because it’s a ‘pushy’ thing to do. One way to get around this is to ask the other person for their card first. Simply saying… ‘Do you have a card?’ will work and if they are interested in you they will ask you for yours. The other essential element to business cards to take your business cards with you everywhere you go. Keep some in your car, bag/briefcase, jacket pockets, and luggage. You only need a few handy, just in case. You never know who you might connect with waiting in a que, at the shop, movies, business events, café, golf course, school or a the family get together. Be prepared. Ask your Focus Questions wherever you can to create conversation and have your business card handy. Remember, a business card is a memory jogger for the person you’re giving it to. You want to help people remember you and get in contact with you.
Happy Networking!
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